Teenage Wasteland

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a truly emo blog post. Now my life is pretty happy and shiny. I have two or three bad days but it’s so much better. Then I sort of wonder if I had depression. I mean, maybe I was just regularly sad, but I’m overdramatizing it. Who knows? All I can say is that I’m glad I don’t feel that way anymore. It’s nice that now I’ve just got that overwhelming need to write. So much of my love for writing is demolished in the process of thinking about whether people will like what I’m reading. So now I’m just writing entirely for me and I think that that can only be a good thing.

I have no idea how other people can post every day and still have some funny or witty anecdote to share. My life isn’t nearly that interesting, for sure. And yet, I still feel the need to post about it. I guess it’s just that desperate need for connection and validation.

Yay, my friend from high school who moved across the country is online on msn. I haven’t spoken to her in weeks, I’ve been so busy. I mean, technically, I should be busy now because currently on Monday I have three drafts and an assignment due and an oral to do. But I’m not working because I’m just chilling and watching the AFL on the TV.

I thought I should update my lovely friend in the blogosphere, he has been a bit neglected. The fact that I have apparently turned my blog into a sentient being who is male should not be mentioned.

My life is good though. It’s so much better than I could have imagined when I was like semi-suicidal (can you be semi-suicidal?) like two years ago. Not because of anything or anyone particularly but just because I decided it was awesome. And it is now.

AND I’M CLOSE TO THE END OF HIGH SCHOOL! THEN I CAN GO TO UNI AND STUDY CREATIVE WRITING AND NEVER HAVE TO DO DIFFERENTIATION OR ALGEBRA OR INTEGRATION OR SIN AND COS OR ANYTHING MATHSY EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I’m a bit excited.)

Leaving you now,
Xoxo,
Megan

21 Forever

Recently I was inspired by Maggie on her blog to scour through the entire contents of the Forever 21 website. In total copycat style, I will post my favourite items. I set myself a $150 (Australian) limit, which is around $125 U.S. This is so I actually have half a chance of buying it. Though, with shipping, it's around $200 (Aus) anyway. However, without further ado, here are my faves:



I just loved the colours of this dress! It looks like it could be really cute in summer but with some tights and a leather jacket, also hot for winter.



I have been pining after this Bowie shirt ever since I saw it well over a year ago! I love the colours and the cut and most of all: IT'S BOWIE!



This, I absolutely adore! I just think it would work really well for adding a bit of colour to an otherwise bland outfit (I wear a lot of black haha). It also adds a bit of girly to a t-shirt combo (though if I do happen to get this, I will have to wear it with leggings, I'm thinking. I haven't bought clothes from Forever 21 since my last trip to America, but while there I learnt that the things that fitted me in my body or around my hips were way too short for my legs. So, leggings time!)



These are just perfect. I already have a pair of heart-shaped glasses but they're see-through and pink. So this would make a more dramatic statement and I love the black patterning on them as well!



I love this. It has the potential to be a bit grungy (if paired with the skirt below) or cute and fun (if paired with the skirt above). Plus...I love England!



I just think this skirt would work in so many ways. I think it looks a bit frumpy in the picture but I can sort of plan heaps of outfits around it in my mind, and for me that's what makes a great piece of clothing.



I love these boots so much! I've been looking for a slouchy ankle boot for so long and these are absolutely perfect.



This shirt was just too cute to pass up. The dinosaur is adorable! *squee*



Last, but not least, I am just obsessed with these hats. I have a hard time wearing them with my fringe (bangs) but I think that if I swept it back it could look really cute.

So those are my fashion insights!

xoxo,
Megan

:(

I've had a really bad day.
I mean, on the surface of things, it may not seem bad.
But it was.
I mean, I'm more stressed than I've ever been in my life at the moment, and I'm sure that that's not helping.
But it sucked, big time.

I looked terrible this morning.
I have to do an assignment tonight that I've barely started and it's totally stressing me out. I HAVE NO FARKIN IDEA ABOUT IT!
My friends and I tried out for our school's talent show and completely failed at life.
THE BREAD JUST FELL OFF THE BENCH OF ITS OWN ACCORD. THE LAST TIME I TOUCHED IT WAS LIKE AN HOUR AGO! WTF?! I've done something really wrong, I know I have.

I wrote an hypothesis for a girl in my english class because she was having serious trouble with the assignment (the same one that I have to do tonight) and she showed the teacher who didn't really like it. I mean, she did, but she mentioned some things that she thought should be changed. I felt so horrible, I was no help at all! The girl said she was really grateful but I felt awful.

Kay, so, also, my Dad lives in a town requiring a plane trip to get to from my house. I haven't spoken to him since I saw him at the end of last year. His girlfriend texted me to call him and my sister told me last night that he wanted to hear from me. But I just...haven't. And I don't know why! I don't want to, for some reason. Add to that that my Graduation dinner is soonish and I don't know if I'm going to ask him to come. I want him there but if he says that he doesn't want to, it would make me feel so much worse than if I'd just never asked.

I have an english extension assignment due soon and I don't even know what I'm going to do it on. I have no farkin idea.

Plus my friend was really stressed because she has a maths c assignment due tomorrow that she doesn't know how to do. I didn't realise this and said something snappy to her and she got really angry at me. She forgave me eventually though. I also helped her get an extension on her english assignment though, so I'm glad she only has her maths to worry about now.

I felt so helpless. I'm terrible at maths and it was the only thing that I needed to be good at. I wanted to help her so badly but I couldn't. I'm useless.

I kind of want to cry.

I saw my best friend, who I never see, today. It was only for like half an hour and we didn't really get to talk. I was there with my other friend and her sister (who is my best friend's girlfriend). They were going to give both of us a lift home but then the sisters realised that there were too many people. I offered to catch a bus but it was eventually decided that my best friend would catch a bus to his house. I feel horrible. I wanted to catch a bus, I mean, if he weren't there I would have gladly gotten in the car but I would have felt much better. But like boyfriend of sister beats friend of other sister. I mean, admittedly, I sort of live near them and he doesn't but like...ARGH. I also didn't hug him before he left. I was putting my stuff in the car and he was saying goodbye to his girlfriend. I wanted to give them their moment together but then I just got in the car because...I don't know.

I didn't really want to be with anyone but of course I did because I hate being alone. And I did want a hug, I really did. I need a hug right now, tbh. I feel like swearing too, but I'm not going to, because this is potentially on the internet for forever.

Plus my mum left for Fiji today and as lame as it is I kind of miss her already.

So now I'm left sitting in the dark, listening to Placebo and feeling sorry for myself.

Glitter,
xoxo,
Megan